I got to attend the WVIAC division II basketball tournament again this year and had a blast. Last year, while I was at WVU, I got to go and I knew this year would be just as great.
I guess I will jump right into explaining the picture you see to the left. Everything seems normal, right? Just a few guys enjoying some cold ones and posing for a picture. But does anything pop out at you? If not, lets check out a better detailed picture. This guy doesn't have shit on Wayne.
Now that the mood is set with bulginess I will start from the beginning. We left at around 12:30PM on Wednesday to get to Charleston, WV in time to see the girls play at 3PM. They won the first round and that meant the party would continue on until atleast Friday.
After spending too many seconds trying to figure out how to organize all this shit I realized it is too hard to put in order so shut up and read whatever I type, eater of buttcorn.
I am not sure what night it was, how much we had been drinking, or what was going on, but Fahey and I decided to shoot some 3's at the Subway halftime 3 point shoot out for $1 a shot. If you make it you get a free foot long sub and if not you get a buy one get one free. The first time we both shot airballs. While walking back I was pissed that I didn't even hit rim so I took the ball from some little girls who were 5 times better than me and shot another airball. After analyzing our suckiness we realized it was a girls ball and we were shooting like it was a foul shot. We went back down again for another round, this time with video footage. It's small and hard to see but you can't miss my beautiful, free foot long sub three pointer. [WATCH THE VIDEO - 1.92MB] B was so impressed that throughout the night he would just wake up and scream shit. I am so awesome, but nowhere near as awesome as Wayne's bulge. Damnit maybe one day.
One of the days B clogged the toilet, for the 2nd time, and not with armpit juice. Since he didn't want to have to call poop maintenance again he tried to fix it with a hanger (I wasn't sure if hanger was with an ar or er so I googled it. I never thought someone would start a website business selling hangers. I figured I'd share that with you in case you were looking for some new closet accessories, hangerinyourbuttslut). There seemed to be no hole at the bottom of the shitter and even with assistance nothing was working. I also took video of it when it started overflowing. If you look quick you get an extra treat of buttcrack. [WATCH THE VIDEO - 755KB]. B was a little stressed out about the whole thing... he had clogged the toilet 2 times in less than 24 hours and had buttpains from the extreme amounts of content that just flew through him, so he went to the lobby to play some tunes on the piano. Good thing there isn't a hole on a piano that can clog.
We had four guys in our room. Already mentioned are B, Fahey, and Me. The 4th guy was my good man Chris. You might remember him from the post below as the buttcorn scout. He took a few days off from buttcorning to hang out with us. That is the only picture I have of Chris from the trip. I do have a recording of him snoring, though. Magnify the sound you hear by 3, and span it out for 8 hours. [WATCH THE VIDEO - 189KB] Chris, lay off the buttcorn it is messing with your nightly nose noises, slutball.
On Friday pretty much everyone left since both our teams had lost. But a few stayed and some indoor baseball with a mini football took place later that night. I was wasted and tired and that is the only picture I took, but I also got another video for you. [WATCH THE VIDEO - 1.35MB]. Thursday night, after drinking some 99 cent 22's, we decided to sign the football that Fahey and I found by the civic center used to play indoor baseball. It could be sold on eBay for millions if also signed by the big hitter. Joe Nolan says he talks to the great Leighann all the time and has had her sign his chest 5 times already. It might be too good to be true to have her sign the ball, or just stupid and funny when you are wasted, and I forgot where I was going with this sentence so I will just put it in Wayne's pants and shut up.
Saturday night, our last night in Charleston when everyone else left, I got really wasted on free open bar and passed out by 11:30PM.
One day I was taking a dump and looking over my financial aid papers because I was tired of looking at the same Maxim's covered in piss everytime. It was time to wipe and I noticed we were out of toilet paper. No, none there either. So me being a genius, I decided to use the financial aid papers to get a temporary clean. I didn't realize they wouldn't flush so I had to scoop them out. Yes, I scooped with poopybutt, but finished off the wipe with my underwear and disposed of it properly. For those of you with a poop picture fetish, don't worry, I am here for you. Some good times have been had in those underwears, but sometimes a pair has to take one for the team. Where's Fahey when you need him?
Now for some random pictures that I can't put into a paragraph:
One hand man, first picture I took with my newest camera, what do you notice first... nintendo on both tv's or tan buttcrack? There was a tight full rainbow outside and I tried to put the 2 together (Back off, I have a gay dad and I am allowed to talk about rainbows). B and Joe, me bent over in girl shoes, my brother and Newt Gingrich, my brother and Steve Forbes.
As soon as I got to West Liberty they got Facebook weeks later. I let that one slide and didn't push for the credit of being awesome. But do you guys remember my email I sent to Cingular? Well I got an email back, and oh wow look West Liberty has Cingular service now. Coincidence? Never.
Last thing. Someone has made a myspace.com account as me and I think it is pretty damn funny. I even have 10 friends and a user comment. Woo!
