ToddMorrison.com

Shit my pants set in it to go home

The title for this post is just a search phrase someone typed in and came to my site from. The picture to the left is the inside of my butt. That's all for that.

I mentioned going to Boston in my last post about a month ago. I went. I didn't take any pictures on the way there, or really of any people. I didn't know anyone but met some cool people who go to Emerson. We stayed at 2 different places and it was pretty nice. Everyone says sketch or sketchy and chill. Atleast I think. I already forgot a lot of stuff. They all drink coffee as soon as they wake up, love music and books and laying in the grass under a tree on a nice day. Lots of art and stuff, too. Not a bad experience but I probably won't go back unless for good reason. We stayed up one night and watched the sun rise on the beach. I made an 880kb animated GIF to show it. Once it loads it will show all the pics i took. [VIEW IT HERE SLUT]

ToddMorrison.com I-Team Investigations has a new case at hand. Our budget can't afford to follow Dump around anymore. His name is B. You know him, the nice guy who just likes to drink and have a good time with maybe a few ladies. Well, we got it all wrong. He is a fake! Some secret cam pictures have leaked out on the internet and we got them all. Hate to lose another one but there's nothing you can really do about it. What you think, Staley? I feel the same way.

I got a cooler thing from work and it is pretty sweet. Just lacks the drinks and a girl who likes picnics.

Went to Morgantown on a Sunday night with Nic I wear shirt sleeves on my head Moray. We stayed at his new place. It was so hot inside his house the we made a shitty thought it would work in theory but just wasted our time air conditioning system. Morgantown sucks in the summer not on a weekend and there wasn't anything going on but us and some beer. No fights with crack heads either. A rather unproductive visit.

I totally forgot about these two emails I got a while back and it's time to take a break and read them. OK, stupid face?

From: Lindsay Diane Oyler dont_want_to_get_her_spam@mix.wvu.edu
To: i_like_spam-todd@toddmorrison.com
Subject: just got back from mutt's
Date: Wednesday, April 20, 2005 3:33 AM

awesome blog. . . just learned that from (sad but true) carson daily
i'm sure U'VE already seen this. . . AKA 'hears your sign.' wait. . . just check your mix. (the period was necessary) and tell me if i was first. ok im starting to doubt this i.m. but after all this F-ert. i gotta push the send. ok thanks for waisting your time and killing a little bit of mine. in the end. just say no!

That is just weird all together. Carson Daily sucks. Your periods aren't necessary. I hope you are never my first for anything. F for F-ert what a cool way to say it. Kill all of your time please. Say no, too!!!!!!!! Simple Plan can suck my ass because they are so stupid. That has nothing to do with anything besides them being terribly homosexual with monkeys.

From: "Priscilla Blanco" no_spam@yahoo.com
To: i_like_spam-todd@toddmorrison.com
Subject: RE: dear Erna
Date: Thursday, May 19, 2005 4:59 AM

In the middle of the night, I was walking by the sea, and baby baluga jumped out from amongst the bushes. SO one day Mr. Gregor exclaimed "Why do skater normals have no preppy either?!?!?!" So I wanted to watched. or Maybe if I wanted to watch it then I had a dream that countless historian lost their credit but i dont Remember what it was. I don't like you but can I have your autograph. No one wants your autograph so I started to cry in the pizza shop. Where did Ryan go? He must have moved to Ohio.

OK, thanks for that. Really. I have a thing for baby balugas but only in the deep blue sea and now I got wood. Real cute jerk.

HOW TO: Fix a fan - Brought to you by men who like men who occasionally like mangirls.

So your fan falls out of its center cirlce thingymajig. You get your screwdriver and insert. Oh, poopy it doesn't go deep enough. Simply pull out your cutter tool and get to it, idiot. The end.

Another one going to hell for their sins. There is still time.

Been haning out in the NP (North Park, where I live) a lot recently with the homies and neighbors. We run, we jump, we swim and play, and hold beer on our tits. I miss you Donkey Lips.

HOW TO: Create a sandwich - Brought to you by free wireless internet across the street that finally works thanks to this $86 badboy. High speed anywhere in my house = half as good as the mangirl naked.

Start off by being hungry. Cook yourself some steak and mashed potatoes. Use meat tenderizer if you have it. I found cream cheese but no bagels so I toasted some old buns and applied. Go take a shit before this next one. Stir. I told you to shit so you can look at it and compare. Once they are same in look you can continue. Shit a few more times if you feel the need. Apply to bun. Put on 2nd bun. Apply once more. Put on top bun with cream cheese. Smash down to hold in all loose parts. Enjoy. If you are rich you can use A1 Sauce. But around these parts we kick it one notch lower than the rest. I go with the good shit. Sometime I role with the Kansas City BBQ, or hit up Kurt, and when I am really feeling good I call up old Aunt Maple. I use this combo a lot.

Here are some random pictures that have no place in their own stories. Just a few taken at parties to make you mansluts happy and me feel cool about myself.

Also, I'd like to take the time to thank Stephen Johosaphat Sunderhaus for existing. He is going back to Florida and his mom is moving away so we might never get to see his ass again. Keep in touch, slut.

A new comment has been posted on your blog ToddMorrison.com, on entry #1 (I'm back, after a month of nothing).
IP Address: 12.77.19.40
Name: ZZZZ
Comments:

This site is horrible. You suck at writing dude, and what you write is stupid as shit.

Sorry, dude. I am not a writing/literature/poopeating major in college. I am stupid as shit so what I write is stupid as shit. I'll try harder to please you next time, bundle of sticks.

My mom got married on Sunday. I had to work. She brought back some leftover lunch meat from their hunnymoon picnic with my cooler I got from work. Even cooked me some chicken nugs. YES!

Today my grandpa went to Pitsburgh to pick up my brother from the airport. He locked the keys in the van. No more back window. But one sweet white trash fixup. Straight pimpin, yo.

I think that is it. See you the next time I dedicate my life for a few hours to post.